Halfway through the first treatment block

Molly is at day 14 of 28, and a few things have been complicating matters.

We started off the month pretty well, but soon Molly needed more platelets and red blood cells. She has been on pretty high doses of steroids, but hasn't been eating or drinking very well, so she's been connected to IV fluids most of the time and has lost about 7 lbs. We had a feeding tube pushed down her nose to help with her nutrition today. After receiving blood a few days ago, Molly got a fever and the blood cultures came back that she had a bacterial infection somewhere in her body. So they started her on an antibacterial for that. She's also taking an antifungal and an antibiotic.

Somewhere around day 10 Molly's blast count went down to 0, so that was a bright spot on this dark canvas we've been looking at. Her ANC has remained at 0 though, so we're not even close to getting to go home.

Sometime in the first few days, Molly started having some pretty bad abdominal pain, which was assumed to be constipation from the steroids. So we started giving her stool softener. After a few days her stool was very soft but the pain was not gone, so we stopped the stool softener. A couple days more and the pain was still there, so Molly got an ultrasound of her belly and they found her intestines were pretty blocked up, so they started stool softener again. After a couple days the pain was getting worse so they did a CT scan and found that Molly's small intestines were telescoping into her large intestines, which is called intussusception. This is usually something that happens in infants younger than 1 year old, and it is considered an emergency. The usual treatment for intussusception is to perform an air enema (called air reduction by the doctors) to blow the blockage straight again. Molly has received three of these procedures, one without sedation (absolute awful experience), and two with amnesia sedation, but the condition has presented itself again each time.

Molly is upset that I won't take the feeding tube out.

The oncologist and surgeon talked it over and determined that, with Molly's ANC so low, surgery right now to remove the telescoping portion of her intestines would be a bad idea, as she wouldn't heal very fast and would almost surely get an infection that could do her in. The radiology department generally only does up to 3 air reductions before sending the patient to surgery, but since Molly is in such an immune compromised state the oncologist and surgeon is asking them to bend the rules a little and do more air reductions so we can wait to perform the surgery for another week or so until Molly's counts are higher. In the meantime we'll be managing her pain with morphine and giving her IV nutrition so that her digestive system can have a break and hopefully the intussusception will not get worse. The risk of doing air reduction is the possibility of the air perforating her intestines and then she will have to go to surgery in an emergency situation, which is even more risky than a controlled surgery situation.

As far as chemotherapy, Molly will be getting the rest of the dexamethasone and vincristine as planned, but they will hold the PEG because it lowers the ANC and they don't want that to be lowered at all so we can get her into surgery as soon as possible.

Many people have asked if they can help us out in any way. The only ways I can think that we need more help in is money and energy. We really appreciate donations for her treatment. We also really need everyone to send positive energy out to the universe for Molly, whether it be imagining her well again, prayer, meditation, affirmations, whatever. And we thank you for asking if you can help.

I have talked to Molly about the possibility of her body not being strong enough to get better, and about the idea of a heaven and the family that we already have there. She may not understand it very well, but I want her to know that if it is her time to go, she has my permission. But we are not going to stop trying to help her body heal as long as we can. I can't imagine a life without her, and I have visions of years in the future when she becomes an aunt, travels the world, finds love, finds her life's calling, possibly has children, and she has such a wonderful life to live. I will never give up on her.